Most Christian online dating services women have a lot of unfinished business with their parents. The reason it’s dangerous is that you will try to finish it, not with your parents but with the person you’re romantically involved with. For example, if your man was overly critical and you never confronted him about it, you’re likely to pick a critical guy to date. You’ll try to change him, just like you wished you could have changed your father. How can you prevent unfinished business from intruding on your search for a soul mate? Recognize the business you have from your past and finish it with that person. If you can’t or don’t want to contact that person, write a letter that you never mail, which will help you get out your feelings. Mixed messages. Sometimes Christian online dating services can send mixed messages. They may have told you that you were beautiful, but then harped on you about losing weight. They may say they love you, but you may have only felt loved if you lived up to their standards. It’s possible that you’re still carrying these mixed messages around with you and it’s hurting your confidence in dating and relationships. What can you do about it? Recognize and write down the automatic thoughts that are running though your head, such as I’m not good enough. Work on your self-esteem by replacing these negative thoughts with positive thoughts, such as I’m more than good enough! Conflict.